This week, Dominos Pizza announced that their fourth quarter earnings more than doubled. Yes, that's the period during which they launched a (we can now use the word) brilliant rebranding campaign – essentially admitting that their product tasted bad and they were totally retooling the recipe.

On one level I so wanted this to work.

Dominoes didn't just invent a story. They actually listened to their customers, improved their product, and invited people to discover all the new and tasty ways they were making it better.

The way I see it, Dominoes reached some cool kind of brand enlightenment here. Like a true self. They stopped having a brand and became one. And it worked.

But here's the issue.

Dominoes pizza not only tasted like catsup-covered cardboard, it could technically be considered a mild carcinogen, especially dangerous when consumed in large quantities, as it so often is. Sure, some of the new ingredients appear to be more digestible and, to their credit, Dominos isn't exactly making any health claims here.

Nevertheless, reducing the petroleum content of the cheese and adding herbs to the crust isn't going to make it any easier for people who eat a lot of this kind of stuff to get off the couch. Not to mention what it's doing to my health insurance premiums.

So I'll give Dominos credit for the big idea and the extra large kahunas. But, the more I think about it, the more this seems like an act of desperation.

Dominos' own customers say the product bites. And yet, they eat it anyway, probably because it's been made so effortless for them. Why cook when you can have a Philly Cheese Steak pizza delivered to your door? You don't even have to pause American Idol.

Clearly, Dominos realizes that a hefty percentage of their core customers are pretty much addicted. The problem is, once the Type A diabetes kicks in, they're doomed to a life of carrot sticks and Lean Cuisines. So the only real growth opportunity lies in the more free-thinking individuals who actually care about what they put in their mouths.

A growing market I'm told.

Now, I'm no militant vegan, tofu-touting, slow-food fanatic. But I saw Super Size Me. I've read a Michael Pollan book or two. And I'm pretty much convinced that much of what we're sold as food is technically toxic. Particularly without the restraint of informed moderation. So we'll continue to follow this one. Because, while I desperately want someone to prove that honesty in branding pays, I'm not expecting Dominos to adopt the "It can kill you, but at least it tastes better" strategy any time soon.